I think I'm insulted by the latest round of "safety training" at work

Allow me to summarize the 13 page training module I just reviewed relating to navigating the office environment:

• don't run in the halls
• watch where you are going

Sound familiar? Like maybe you've heard this before from you Mother when you were 3? I won't even go into the chapter on stairs - I don't believe that anyone has ever felt the need to explain to me how stairs work before... And this is just one of several base modules included for each job type... And the best part? There is a full 1-page test at the end of the module!
I'm still looking for the module that will train me not to run with scissors - though the "no running in the halls" rule, above, should cover it by default. Handling long pointy things so as not to poke someone's eye out? - again, the "watch where you are going" rule pretty much covers that... Look both ways before crossing the street? - nope, again already covered by "watch where going"... Could those be the only 2 rules you need in life? Hmmmm.....

Anyway, can't I just sign a form in which I legally warrant that I am able-bodied, I have basic motor skills, and I have the mental fortitude of at least a Slinky - which can walk down stairs, alone or in pairs, without the aid of a training manual? If I don't want to sign the form, then it becomes mandatory for me to read all of these safety modules... In other words, contrary to the trends of the general populace, I would actually be willing to take responsibility and accountability for my actions at the workplace for items that the vast majority of people would consider to be "common sense". Is that an option - or do I actually have to read, and sign a statement saying I've read, all of these manuals?